late to bed and early to rise...

so, if feeling fabulous, wonderful and all refreshed was equal to 100%, i'm somewhere in the 65% area...ok, maybe 75% at most.

between this eternal cold front that is haunting the northeast like a raven and this mystery nose congestion that has been visiting me nightly, i'm not doing so well.

every night i promise myself that i'm going to go to bed early...and every night i find a cornucopia of things that i rather do than sleep.

of course, in the morning my first thought as my alarm blares into my ear (i've set it to a lovely chorus of, what sounds like, a barn of screaming roosters lit on fire at dawn) is "why didn't i go to sleep earlier?"

i drag myself to the bathroom and the first thing i do is check how bloodshot my eyes are. most days the whites of my eyes are a lovely shade of pale pink. those are the mornings after i've sat in front of my laptop for several hours just before bed and managed to cram in 6 hours of sleep. some days my eyes just look like murder victims. i mean, many more hours of sitting in front of my laptop or forcing myself to read because i'm starting to feel my brain atrophy, catching up with people or working on writing...suddenly, i'm lucky if i get 4 hours.

seriously...where did all my time go?

i haven't had a good night's sleep in ages.

ok, i blame the fact that one of my goals before the beginning of february is to get caught up on every season of Lost. (i started from the beginning in early november, if i'm not mistaken, and have made it through 2/3 of season 4...i should make it if i stick to a strict schedule - i'm pathetic.)

we have to have our dreams, right?

to top it all off...

i haven't exercised in weeks and my promise to eat healthier is pulverized to ash at the sight of anything baked, fried or just plain rich.

currently, i'm obsessed with dumplings, fish n' chips and steak au poivre...yes, i realize there is very little in the ways of anything green in those three choices.

don't worry. i'm eating clementines on a daily basis to ward off scurvy.

i suspect that this behavior is making my blood thick. all this lack of sleep and lack of healthy activity...i'm headachey and grumpy and whiney and want to punch myself in the face because i dislike when i'm like this.

i have to keep looking at my resolution list...

it makes me groan, but it's exciting at the same time.

i have so much to do. SOOOO much to do.

oh, and can someone tell me why i'm still smoking?!