random & scattered

my thoughts are everywhere today. i suspect it has something to do with my trying to re-quit smoking.

yeah, that's right.

i failed my first attempt this year and i'm pretty disappointed in myself.

...but, yes, i'm trying to re-quit and today is day 1.

i've already dealt with a handful of urges and have been diligently sipping water and slowly chewing raw almonds.

now, usually my best defense for not smoking is to eat healthy and exercise so i feel even worse if i have a cigarette...

the problem is that it's not working out so well today.

i had a doughnut and a brownie before noon...

and i actually became upset when i got to the last bite (yes, that's what the photo is of) of my sandwich for lunch...

i want to eat everything...

this doesn't help me...at all.

in other news, i had another bizarre dream last night about being in a spaceship.

...i also really like compressed air.

ok. back to work.

ma boulangette, susan (the ice cream edition)

yes, you're looking at a cake.

yes, this is an ice cream cake.

of course, it's been created by susan.

it was created all in the name of my boss...it was his birthday yesterday.

sidenote: i've decided to call susan "la boulangette".

i might be mangling my french, but a boulanger is a baker...so, i'm assuming that one of a petite stature would be deemed a "boulangette"...

whatever. if it's wrong, i'm sorry, france. i didn't mean to murder your language...in fact, i think it's a very nice language and i promise to learn it inside out...as soon as i can get my hands on the rosetta stone...

i couldn't keep up with my french classes. (i'm a horrible person, i know. so non-committal.)

...but back to more exciting things. the cake.

imagine an asteroid made of chocolate and a planet made of vanilla...a meteor shower comprised solely of thin mints, space dust made of cocoa powder, two rocket ships (one made of chocolate ice cream and one made of vanilla ice cream) and a very large space capsule lazily floating around filled with homemade whipped cream.

...now...

imagine if, by some catastrophically aggressive gravitational force, all of these things came crashing together in an deliciously epic (delepic!) "big bang" moment.

...leaving only rays of happiness in its wake...

and wishes for a siesta.

this is how i believe this cake came into existence...

except susan was the gravitational force and all the components were not in space...the "big bang" was the moment susan decided to put everything together.

...in other words, i just really like making up stories to try to express how i feel about certain foods.

this cake was like a planet.

...with its sheer existence, it could support a small race (in this case, a boutique company) for many years (in this case, the rest of the work day), while keeping them happy (in this case, awake).

can i just take a moment to say that i'm fantasizing about this cake as i write this post?

yeah. it's true.

in short, the boulangette successfully strikes again!

this time...with ice cream!

initiation...

so, i've been placed on the back of the winged god of ovens and been taken for a soaring ride...straight into the fiery mouth of baked-good-culture.

...and ya know what?

i like being nestled in the belly of the baking beast...there's something cozy about it...almost like knitting...though much less convenient to do in the subway or on an airplane.

i've decided that it's time...

i've reached that point in my life where i need a stress-relieving hobby. i've realized up until now that most of my hobbies have been stress-inducing (illustrations have to be perfect, photographs have to be exactly what i want, graphic designs need to be accurate down to the pixel).

so, i've discovered baking through my dear friend, amit, and we have been giving it a spin as a duo. so far, we've had 2 successful cupcake rounds, 1 successful brownie round and 2 failed frostings. it's all very exciting.

i even purchased a 9-speed handmixer.

9 speeds!...i haven't even tried the 9th level yet...but i've never been able to beat egg whites into peaks so fast in my life...

in a way, i feel like i'm trying to carry on my mother's legacy...one she let go of decades ago.

her lemon-poppyseed cake, baumkuchen, and cream puffs were epic.

...and this reminds me, i need to learn to make those baked goods, stat!

my co-workers won't know what hit 'em.

excitement abounds!

in other good news, the website re-haul is finally complete.

now i can tick that off my new years resolution list. the joys.

...and the birthdays keep on comin'...

you guessed it...it's another creation by the ever-baking genius, susan!

all i can say is that i ate 2.5 slices of this cake...and i could've inhaled the entire thing had no one else been around.

nothing hits home for me like strawberry shortcake...and if it's homemade, all the better.

every birthday during my childhood involved a strawberry shortcake and they make me beyond-happy.

so, all i can say is, "thank you, sherry, for having a birthday" and "thank you, susan, for flipping my nostalgia switch again in the form of a fluffy delight."

it made my afternoon.

now i just want to desperately take a nap. i'm crashing hard and starting to nod off...gotta hold on.

butter lane...is in my mouth & in my eyes...

i just wanted to take a minute to mention the epic win that is the cupcakes mellisa got me for my birthday.

The minute i saw the "BUTTER LANE" stamped on the box, my heart was all aflutter with the excitement brought on by images of the magic that awaited me inside that beautiful brown box. (oh, sidenote, the flower on the box IS REAL...and smells lovely.)

...and what magic it was.

i can't even begin to tell you the joy that these cupcakes brought me, filling the days following my birthday dinner with a much-appreciated sweet endnote.

i have one left and i'm going to devour it tonight with no mercy.

thanks again, melissa! xo!

...and a cake?!

so, the festival of my birth lasted the entire week and with it came a birthday dinner of epic proportions (for me, anyway...i'm the type to hide on my birthday) on Saturday evening.

the time? 7pm.

the place? the pink pony, of course.

the attendees? 19 people that i adore.

the evening began with me running late...mhmm. typical.

as i rushed to the restaurant, teetering along in platform heels and a beautiful, corseted, sleeveless number (thank you, allsaints...and, more importantly, thank you to my paramour for gifting me with such a beautiful dress), i received several text messages from attendees stuck in traffic, on late trains and in cabs...all apologizing for their lateness. little did they know that i would be, more or less, the last person to show up.

...which is fine. i rather show up after everyone has settled down and figured out where they were going to sit, what they were going to order and all that...and to think, i was actually considering making name tags and having a seating chart to try to get people to mingle...

oh, but they, more or less, mingled on their own. so, there wasn't much to worry about.

i realize now that i have neurotic-hostess syndrome. i have to make rounds and make sure i get in at least 5 minutes of uninterrupted talk-time with each person at the party to try to show my gratitude for their showing up...which worked out well this time...mostly because of my dress.

i'm pretty sure it was the five guys burger & fries i ate earlier in the day that led to me calling dear liam to come over and help me zip into the dress...it's a dress that gives you perfect posture and one that is far more comfortable when you're standing up...

so, back to what i was discussing...because the dress was better standing up, it was the perfect get-up for the neurotic-hostess, milling about, hopping from table to table to ask if the food was ok, if people were having a good time and to thank people for gracing me with their presence. i truly did appreciate it and it was nice to finally have people in my life meet each other. there's always something so satisfying about that.

...but i digress...orders were finally taken around 9pm as we all sat around, chatting, staving to death...and the majority of the guests ordered the steak au poivre, which made me even happier. (it's one of my favorites, as you know)...

the food came, everyone conversed at candlelit tables, laughter echoing from time to time...and just when i thought the party was winding down, an incredibly large, red velvet cake, emblazoned with candles, suddenly appeared in front of me. (thank you for the cake, sherry!) i was in shock and awe as the entire dining area, strangers included, sang a very sweet & gregarious "happy birthday" to me...i'm pretty sure i was blushing, but i cropped that out (thanks to my dearest melissa for the photo above).

the cake did us all in...and there was still some left over. i gave a slice to the wild tarot card reader who was chatting up the patrons. did i mention someone bought me a card reading? well, they did...and the tarot card reader told me the following:

• you will be coming into prosperity - this is good news.
• you make good decisions, but must stop second-guessing yourself - story of my life.
• stop dwelling on the past and enjoy the now - something i've struggled with endlessly.
• amorous activities of a kinky nature are in the future - well, that's nice to know.
• stop worrying about finances...the minute you worry, that's when they'll nosedive - duly noted.
• you are looking for a partnership - hmmm. business or pleasure? - could be both.
• an older, male libra will be of guidance - hm. i think i might know who, though it seems unlikely.
• aquarians think too much, but are very dynamic with you - she was an aquarius
• stay away from capricorns, they're boring - ha!
• partnering with another aries might be ok, but don't forget the follow-through - business venture, here i come!

she was raunchy and hysterical...and, so, clearly deserved a slice of cake.

the party thinned out after that. departing hugs, heartfelt thank-you's and last minute laughs commenced. by a little after midnight, everyone had cleared out and i wandered briefly with a few remaining friends to another party and then for a quiet latte with liam at a random cafe.

i got home around 2am, just in time to catch the most horrible movie ever made (i seriously watched the last half hour of this), blissfully exhausted and extremely grateful for the wonderful people in my life. i had a great time. to everyone at the party, merci beaucoup. you made this girl very happy indeed. xo.

smashes & ships

i adore when many things i love come together in one, swirling evening adventure...and such is the case with my trip to the meatball shop with elizabeth.

it was time for the thursday night dinner ritual once again...a night dedicated to expelling weekly whining, sharing anecdotes, eating well and laughing.

...and to add to the usual joys, we were given a beautiful night in the mid-70's, filled with balmy breezes and the smell of the summer to come...a little nostalgic...and a little dreamy...and 100% enjoyable.

now, first things first. see that first photo? (apparently, i love the word "first") my dearest elizabeth was kind enough to gift me a beautiful ivory necklace (yes, that's a photo of it...and, yes, i had goosebumps...i get cold easily. stop judging me.) what can i say? i love it...and i never wear jewelry...and i've never really owned a necklace i've liked until this one.

i even got compliments from co-workers today about it...and i just beamed. "it's made of ivory!"..."it's a ship!"...i loves it...so, very big thanks to elizabeth for such a thoughtful gift. you're tops!

...and now the food.

i'm salivating while recalling it.

we've been attempting to get a seat at the meatball shop for a few weeks...and, for some reason, on the most beautiful night i've experienced in the last several months, there was a seat right by the open shop-front...perfect for us.

so, yes, we took it and we ordered the most delicious meatballs i've ever tasted. i ordered the daily special meatball smash.

let me explain something to you...you can get a hero (4 meatballs on focaccia bread), a smash (2 meatballs on a brioche bun) or a slider (1 meatball on a mini burger bun)...

the daily special yesterday was a bolognese meatball. i chose to combine it with mushroom sauce and mozzarella cheese.

i had another almost-weepy moment the minute i took a bite of this little package of heaven. all the flavors melted into a large ball of YES and came crashing down on my tastebuds like a meteor shower of sparkling, crackling flavor ecstasy. the market salad, side salad and risotto also hit just the right spots and i felt human again.

a smash in my mouth, a ship on my neck, a summer breeze on my back, and a song in my heart...rarely do i feel nights are perfect...and combining this with exceptional company, good laughs (we always have good laughs) and prowling around the late-night boutiques of the lower east side...how does this not spell out a perfect thursday night adventure?

that's the thing, dear readers. it does.

it does spell a perfect night.

'nuff said.

mood with the kew two

are you surprised to find a photo of another food item here? no?

i didn't think so.

so, let me tell you a tale about where i got this little nugget of chilean bliss.

you know as much as the next person how much i enjoy hanging out with couples...and, no, i have no idea why...

well, it had always been jolissa (melissa & joel), but now we have another couple on the roster.

joellen and mike...i've been thinking of ways to combine their names correctly, but it doesn't seem to be working out so well...so far i have millen and joke...both of which don't exactly work. agreed?

until i come up with a good combination, i'll just call them the kew two...as they live in kew gardens and were gracious enough to show me the scene last night.

after a long and arduous work day, we headed back to jo's place where, upon arrival, i found a beautiful apartment big enough to prance around and run in (which i did with much vigor). truly amazing. i flopped around on the big couch like a dying fish, admired all the photographs and little touches of coziness, tried to count mike's guitars (i failed...i think he said 13?) and felt a wave of well-being wash over me like a breeze made of a million blankets. i believe comfort is the word that comes to mind.

then it was off to mood. a lovely little eatery with an eclectic crowd of neighborhood regulars...seriously, it was like cheers. everyone knew each others' names and everyone was ridiculously friendly...but only if you could handle the exchange of witty dialogue. if you're not fast with your comebacks and have a thin-skin, you best hide in the back and try not to make friends. they're a fast-talkin' people that are as sharp as knives...well, until everyone has had a few drinks in them...then it's a whole lot of hugs, laughter and general cheer.

see that? cheer...like cheers?

you like how i brought that one back around?

aaaaanyway...

it happened to be a beautiful, balmy spring evening that felt like summer (it was 88 degrees that day!), so we opted for a table outside on the sidewalk and enjoyed some tasty wonders. i had the pan roasted sea bass on a bed of fennel mashed potatoes & zucchini compote. it was scrumptious. joellen had the hanger steak and mike had the sirloin, i believe.

forgive me for not having photos of their food. i thought i had taken the photos correctly, but it turned out that they were blurry and wouldn't do the dishes any justice.

throughout the night, i was introduced to the "regulars"...

• martin: the chef...entertains with an unending stream of filthy jokes in his charming irish accent. this coupled with his generosity (thanks for re-packaging our leftovers after you stepped on them by mistake...very chivalrous) and brotherly love for jo convinced me that he was a good one to have on your side.

• mo: the bartender & owner...likes shaking jo's chair, enjoys stretching his legs, and has the general vibe of calm & composure.

• leigh: sweet, sprightly and smiling...seems to be all heart.

• tara: the hard-chargin' waitress...keeps the sleaze at bay, keep the patrons happy and has a tongue that could lash a million jerks in an instant. if i was the general of a war, i would want her as my commanding officer.

• chris: the eccentric & witty numbers guy and bassist...likes devious behavior and has a news-anchor-like poise when discussing the disasters of modern social behavior. doesn't like cooking. enjoys modern technology...notably the microwave.

• sal: seems to think that all japanese people do is eat sushi, tells me the best sushi restaurant is in howard beach, offends me by initially talking to me in chinese and then pretends to get a phone call when i tell him that just because baseball players go to a sushi restaurant does not mean it's the best. is probably a good guy who made a bad impression.

• westside: likes to call everyone mo. owes lots of taxes and likes to jokingly complain about his wife.

• creepy pilot: nuff said...he was a creepy pilot. please don't tell me to be a good girl and stop staring at my legs...and don't chime in on the sushi conversation...you're just making it worse.

• singing sassy girls: the disasters of modern social behavior mentioned earlier in the form of dancing at the bar of a restaurant with no dance floor, singing to shania twain and getting sloppy drunk. in other words, a crowd that i wish would get caught in the rain...if the raindrops were made of knives...and the knives were on fire.

what can i say? it was an eventful night.

yes, i felt completely burnt out by the time we got back to the apartment. poor mike had to get up early the next morning, so he crashed right after getting back. jo & i? yeah, we ended up sitting in the living room and chatting till 1am.

by the end of it all, we were both completely zoning out on the walls, and exchanging fleeting words. i'm fairly certain by the last few minutes, we weren't speaking at all...just yawning at each other back and forth. needless to say, it was time for bed and i blacked out within minutes. (did i mention they have this amazing fan in the living room that mimics natural breezes?...no? well, they have one and it's the most amazing thing EVER.)

i guess that's what happens when you have fun. (you black out.)

a big thanks to the kew two for being such gracious hosts. <3

dear men in my life...

new dream job: fortune cookie copy editor.

oh, susan! my susan!

well, how long did you think i was gonna go before mentioning another one of susan's delightful baked wonders?

oh, my readers.

ooooooooh, red velvet cupcakes.

this could be the end for friday...she may sell everything she owns to support her red velvet cupcake habit.

i would have to pay susan all of my meager earnings, equip her with the best baking tools money can buy...recite her poetry...anything...just to have these cupcakes all the time.

there are no words to express the intensely satisfying texture and flavor of these little packages of happiness. my tastebuds have been taken for a ride straight to the heart of OMGville off the *delepic expressway.

what can i say?

i'm smitten.

*delepic refers to the rare occurrence when an item of food is both delicious and epic...webster's dictionary does not define this word as anything because i made it up.

they say it's your birthday...

well, it turns out that "they" are correct.

yep. today was my birthday and with it came a slew of lovely surprises in the form of tokens received from co-workers and well-wishes sent from friends and family.

my outlook this year is slightly more upbeat than most years. i have a feeling i'm getting better at denial...or it's that thing called "wisdom"...accordingly to the report on the radio this morning, age does, in fact, bring wisdom. i'm starting to think that it's slim pickin' for things to report on these days.

nonetheless, my office really set me up for the most pleasant of days.

the morning was filled with the scent of fresh flowers from liza and susan. liza upped it by adding in the one murakami book i don't own and katherine bestowed make-up upon me...which came just in time for my birthday dinner this upcoming weekend. meanwhile, joellen gifted me with some of my favorite foods and a card.

to top it all off, i got a upbeat, chirpy "happy birthday!" from my boss first thing in the morning followed by a hug. i thought he had remember this year. he proudly nodded and then mentioned, under his breath, that my co-worker had emailed him about it. at least he admitted it.

i'm not going to lie. i felt like all morning should start this way. all the hugs of thanks and appreciation. i work with a great bunch of people...this much i know.

word on the street is that humans should get at least 8 hugs a day.

i believe this to be true.

the day was also filled with desserts.

i'm never one to complain about such things so long as my teeth are intact at the end of it all...a hoho-cupcake during lunch (many thanks to the register girl at bread & butter who, upon finding out it was my bday - joellen ratted me out - told me to pick a cupcake and take it with me) and a chocolate mocha cake with ice cream later in the day...the cake even had my name on it. nice touch.

lunch was spent strolling around madison square park, enjoying the 80-degree weather and sunshine.

i also ducked out early to grab dinner with my brother and his girlfriend.

of course, good food was in store!

i feasted on a filet of sole with sliced almonds in a lemon-butter sauce paired with zuchini & potatoes. all of it melted in my mouth and i could sense my eyes rolling to the back of my head in sheer ecstacy. the frank sinatra playing in the background only heightened the melodramatic savoring of my food.

...and, yes, dessert.

we split fresh strawberries with marscapone cheese AND a chocolate lava cake.

i died on my birthday of a sugar overdose.

by the time we headed back to our respective homes, i was done.

...and this is a week-long birthday festival for friday...so, be ready for more updates on gastronomical adventures!

sorry about not taking photos of dinner...and sorry this post isn't more involved.

i'm seriously crashing from the seemingly endless act of eating good foods.

well, 35 minutes left till my actual birthday is over.

in retrospect, it was a pretty good one...and i have my co-workers, friends and family to thank. sending my love to you all.

i really appreciated today. xo.

food, flowers, friends & festivities

despite the distinct chill that crept along the city streets in the shadows during the day and everywhere during the evenings, i decided to take a stand and laugh in the face of spring's bi-polar temperatures.

how does one do this?

by going out wearing shorts and living in blissful denial (which also involves jaywalking an exorbitant amount to keep on the "sunny side of the street").

along the same lines, there's nothing like deciding to eat brunch outside with an equally dressed party (melissa was wearing a t-shirt and jeans. i was wearing a leather jacket and shorts...combined we would be one warm individual and one frozen individual).

we brought my god-dog, melissa's bebeh - tank, along just to cement the decision...and, let me tell you, little tank was not pleased by our outdoor extravaganza...he curled himself up into a tight ball, shivering, and decided not to unfurl until after our meal...covered in melissa's panino crumbs.

...however, let's not rush to conclusions. i enjoyed the meal immensely, which is why i didn't run away screaming and/or crying when my knees turned red from the howling, shadowy wind and i was almost convinced that they might actually crack off.

what would keep our girl, friday, (who despises the cold if not dressed properly) in her seat while being beaten down by an unrelenting crosstown blast?

a basil pesto & egg panino, a latte, and 5 bruschetta at inoteca...that is what keeps friday at bay.

i know. i know, you're curious about which bruschetta:

noci

tapenade

fagioli del giorno

alla toscana

ricotta fresca & pomodoro

they were epic. the two of us left with full stomachs and numb limbs...and i would've done it all over again. red-knuckled and covered in crumbs.

next?

cupcakes...naturally.

gluten-free cupcakes...obviously.

so, it was off to babycakes for a vanilla vanilla cupcake, which was lovely in that it didn't make my teeth melt off...because, i don't know about you, but i kinda like having functioning teeth...i'm just sayin'.

...and, yes, that's tank in the photo.

all of this gastronomical wonder was followed with much needed wanderings around the city streets, catching as many sun-drenched corners as we could.

eventually, as earth is on that silly axis that makes it spin and such, the sun began to slowly dip and spring decided to punish me for laughing at it earlier by making the temperature drop significantly.

after goodbyes with melissa, i sprinted to a flower shop to pick up some daisies for a birthday party and continued to sprint to said birthday party in order to keep myself from keeling over into a pile of frosty dust.

lucky for yours truly, i made it to the building just in time. the sun had finally dipped below the buildings and there weren't anymore sun-drenched corners for miles around.

the rest of the evening was a beautiful melange of catching up with old friends, eating too many chips with too much garlicy salsa (a large dollop of which i found haphazardly balancing on the collar of my leather jacket - thank goodness for partially sober friends who are watching out for me), dancing, claiming the kitchen as my post, listening to confessions and stories fluttering out of the mouths of inebriated party-goers in said kitchen, and finding a warm place to close my eyes by night's end.

quite possibly one of the more eventful saturdays to date.

tell me if you've heard this one before...

it's official.

i'm gross.

...ok, let me explain.

now, i love food. you know this if you've read any of the stuff i've written...especially in recent months (again, a special thanks to recovered tastebuds).

...but when do you say when?

i thought i had figured it out, people.

i thought i had finally solved the mystery that is enjoying all types of food without feeling like a grease spot.

the solution was balance.

well, yesterday, i took that solution and covered it in tar and feathers, lit it on fire and chucked it into a blackhole...made of more fire.

the day started out ok.

why, yes, a croissant is a lovely idea. i haven't had one in a while. so light and flaky and made almost completely of butter...how could i say no? dare i say, i deserve this little baked gem.

...and then i remembered, with much delight, that my design department had planned a homemade indian lunch bonanza...we got chickpea curry & eggplant curry (kudos to my dearest kristina), a healthy dose of basmati rice and naan bread from our local curry-in-a-hurry, yogurt-cucumber dip (thank you, sherry) and a luxurious rice pudding (made by the infamous susan)...

i thought i would be ok, but i thought wrong.

why, yes i'll have a pile of rice the size of my head...and, yes, i'll cover it in heaping piles of curry. oh, of course, i'll take a huge piece of naan and how could i say no to the yogurt dip. oh, susan, this rice pudding is so good i could die. yes, i'll have seconds!

by the end of lunch i couldn't sit up for fear that food would come shooting out of my eyeballs and ears...all i could do was let out exasperated sighs in response to the knowledge that i have no gauge when it comes to tasty foods.

i spent the next hour walking back and forth between the front office and the design department to try to get all that food to settle.

...and settle it did...

JUST IN TIME FOR DINNER!

...so, off i skipped to the shake shack line in madison square park...to the shake shack line that was a mile long.

it was time for dinner with elizabeth...the thursday ritual...and i was determined to get a shackburger. elizabeth showed up and we caught up on two weeks' worth of no-dinners while trying very hard not to stab the three very loud girls in front of us with 200 needles and 5 knives...each. we just didn't have the right equipment, lucky for them.

45 minutes of waiting in line and we were finally blessed with what we had been waiting for. our burgers and fries...a double shackburger with cheese and some fries, to be more specific.

oh, i'm completely full and i haven't even finished my burger.

...but i can't waste something so precious...so hard to come by...

oh no! it's getting cold...i have to finish it.

*nom nom nom*

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. delicious...and epic.

delepic.

...did i mention that the loveliness of spring that was bestowed upon us during the daytime hours slowly melted away into a rather chilly evening? no? well, that's what happened...and i was not dressed appropriately...so, i suggested we find an indoor seat and have a spot of tea.

...but, of course, i can't just have tea. tea needs to be accompanied by something else.

in this case, it was a cannoli so riddled with chocolate chips that you could barely make out what it actually was. from the outside, it resembled a pipe assembled purely of dark lusciousness.

on the inside, a savory wonderland of cannoli cream in a cradle of cannoli crust awaited me.

...and down the rabbit hole i went...willingly.

by the time i was on my way home, i had a paunch that looked and felt like a football and the cold, hard truth that i knew nothing about balancing out my foods.

...but in my failure, i found comfort...

my day had been a culinary victory...and that, my friends, is how you tell mr. balance to take a number and get in line.