10.15.2009

on pasadoble with papa time & parkas


it happens, people.

cold weather happens.

...and even though i was able to avoid it for a short while by escaping to la on a brief sojourn, i was smacked in the face with it today. as in, monsieur weather (the spiffier, more charming cousin of oooold man winter...possibly jack frost's uncle) took his white glove, placed a cinder block in it and commenced to beat me over the head with it this morning.

i knew from the moment my alarm went off.
goosebumps and absolute darkness were all that greeted me upon waking...well, that and a failed attempt at a CS4 install...but that's neither here nor there.
...and then there was the snoozing.

let me tell you something...

i
don't
hit
snooze.

i just don't do it. i know myself too well. after the initial hitting of the snooze button, i'm foxtrottin' with father time. each precious minute is like bathing in a comforting tub of fuzzy, warm things...possibly loving animals or a bucket of surprisingly heated silk...made of hugs.
i love it.

so the clock ticked on and i was none the wiser.
by this point, father time and i had danced everything, including the electric slide...that's how far it had gone.

too far.

...but very suddenly i felt the creeping hand of reality creepily tap my shoulder in a highly creepy fashion.

it was time...
time to get up...
time to wash away the creamy latte fluff of dreams...
it was time for work.

so, of course, i panic.
i was puttering down slo-mo county road...
no signs...just endless fields of SORRY-NO as far as the eye could see.

in the end, i made it out...
only half an hour late.
so what if the back of my head looked like an overused chimney brush...
the point was that i had escaped the seduction of father time's smooth, salsa steps.

...and this is the part i've been trying to get at.
i made one smart move today, my beloved readers.
one.
i wore my parka.

oh, parka.
you of olive drab and faux fur trim.
you of casual tailoring and laissez-faire attitude.
you remind me of a warm, safe place where as a child i'd hi-ide...
that's right.
i went there.

upon seating myself on the bus, i very quickly fell asleep...
it felt like i was floating in a sea of cashmere teddy bears.
the fact that i was in a moving vehicle just added to it...

so, whereas just wearing the parka would simulate a sea of cashmere teddy bears, the addition of the movement variable mutated said teddy bears into ultimate teddy bears equipped with massaging limbs and vibrating torsos that hum erik satie songs in loving voices that don't sound disturbing coming from a stuffed animal.

needless to say, not only did mister parka afford me a very deep and restful sleep during my commute...he also has protected me from the 40 degree (but feels like 25 according to NPR) weather.

parka...for the win.

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