once in a while (almost always), i get this crazy notion in my head...namely, that i don't need an umbrella if the weather report clearly states "rain!"
well, dear reader, let me start by saying that today was one of those days where i might as well have jammed fiery lumps of coal in each eye and called myself frosty the NO-man.
it was that good.
monsieur boss and i have begun to speak over each other...this is bad..
i mean, i was already grumpy von grumpenbergerstein from the minute i woke up this morning...so, attempting to speak over me while in this state is basically like hurling yourself into a boiling vat of pancake batter...made from equal parts corn starch, glass powder and the shrieks of a few thousand perturbed harpies. (in retrospect, that doesn't sound like pancake batter at all!)
so, yes, monsieur boss felt a bit of the wrath today...
how could i tell?
because he asked how i was feeling later in the day...
he never asks that sort of thing...
he must've noticed me grinding my teeth into a fine powder (also used in the batter if one so chooses) while we were having our lovely chat earlier on.
the best event today?
waking up at 4:30am and realizing i had another 1.5 hours of sleep to go.
...did i mention i choked on my own saliva while walking to work this morning?
i mean, i know it's neither here nor there, but that can make even the most bogartly cool person instantaneously uncool.
...and i'm not all that cool...so imagine just how uncool i ended up looking!
i'd say that choking on my own saliva is not something i'd like to do on a regular basis. (duly noted...to myself).
soooo, yes, weather report exclaims "rain!" and i say "hm. looks nice outside."
there seems to be some erroneous wiring in my brain...but, seriously, it was sunny and mild this morning, so i opted for less baggage.
fast forward through a 10 hour day with no real lunch break...
as i began to finally pack up, i took a look outside and discovered that the sky had turned this lovely apocalyptic shade of gunmetal greyish green.
splendid!
i blinked a few times and headed out...quite frankly, this faulty wiring in my head causes something akin to no-logicitis or, in much the same vein, intensified idiocy.
i step out, take a lungful of humid, city air and lightly step away from the scaffolding so conveniently set up right outside of my building.
my foot goes straight into an undesirable manhattan puddle. my flats fill with murky water and my stomach, simultaneously, groans from the lack of sustenance. (5 cookies does not count!)
lovely! lovely!
i make a quick call to my paramour and attempt to maintain some shred of enthusiasm while leaving a voicemail as the rain begins to really beat down on me.
no doubt it was all very james dean from afar, but up close i'm sure i was a sore sight...probably closely resembling the molecular melding of a sad clown and a wet cat.
all i can say is, thank goodness for gabardine trenchcoats...
but, at the end of the work day, no matter how rockstar you are on the inside, melting mascara and soaking wet hair is not the way...especially when you're sitting on public transportation.
so, just bring your umbrella, ok?
wait, you probably bring an umbrella to work and i'm just ridiculously lazy about carrying extra things. man, you are SO responsible.
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