friday: on tuesdays

i'm not sure if anyone informed you...

but i figured you should know my feelings on tuesdays.

to put it shortly, tuesday is the most useless day of the week.

i lamented about my philosophy on the elevator this morning to two co-workers and a poor delivery guy who, i'm sure, just wanted out.

let me explain...

sunday: oh, what a wonderful day to be a lump and do lumpy things... to do as much or as little of whatever your little blood-pumping organ desires. go ahead and read that trashy novel you've been hiding under your bed. go ahead and watch an entire season of a television show while nommin' on the snack of your choosing. go ahead and take that scenic drive. take that photo! take that and that and that and everything in between that and that!...and get to bed at a decent hour.

monday: one still has the soft afterglow of the weekend and has many tall tales to regale their co-workers and friends with. there are things to discuss. movies that entertained. sales that were fruitful. parties that were fortuitous.

tuesday: will explain*

wednesday: by golly, we've made it halfway through the week! congratulations, my dears. your suffering has diminished to 2.5 parts per 5 (not counting the weekends)...as opposed to the very scary 5 parts per 5. let the rejoicing begin! for my office, this day also comes with delicious new york bagels in an array of different styles and two big blocks of philly cream cheese. bagels ftw!

thursday: wait, what day is it tomorrow? friday, you say?! my goodness, we're almost there! let us don our floral wreaths and prance around like pan on goat day.

friday: my day. need i say more on this particular subject?

oh, and donuts. we get donuts on fridays. donuts, people...rings of frosted joy!

saturday: the magical day where you don't have work and you know you don't have to wake up early tomorrow. it's like awesometown redux (the year 2053) where things have become exponentially more awesome than the present day awesometown. i mean, that's pretty awesome, no?

*so, right, let's follow the asterik like responsible readers and get back into the philosophy of the day of tues.

ye olde day o' tues is like a vast wasteland in the middle of a matterless void, slathered in nothingness compote and feasted on with a warm, comforting cup of oblivion...and some might call that deep space...but, let's face it, deep space has some matter floating around and it's far more interesting than ye olde day o' tues (which is now this insufferable day's nickname...although, as a nickname, i suppose it's supposed to be a little shorter...more of a synecdoche...but whatever.)

right, right. i'm rambling.

so, back to ye olde day o' tues.

it represents nothing to me relative to the other days of the week.

it holds no hope, no promise.

just an empty day full of empty hours that will be filled with work.

however, there was a momentary lapse in my seething indifference to this day (today...not every ye olde day o' tues) when my co-worker came in with a gift for me...it was (insert large grin) a croissant(!) from the patisserie a few blocks away. oh, that made for a joyous few minutes as i zealously jammed it into my mouth and showered it with shimmering floods of latte.

...but, yes...i digress.

the only highlight on my ye olde day o' tues as of now is that i have standing plans with my dearest of dears, melissa.

SO, ce soir i get to meet melissa's beau and get to eat her tasty food.

...if this tradition keeps up, perhaps ye olde day o' tues won't be so bad afterall.

for now though, it is an insignificant stain of compote on the napkin of my life.