Happy 100th!

Why, hello there.
Guess what?
What you're currently reading is my centennial blog post!
(I mean, sure, a decent number of earlier posts are only photos or a line here and there, a boring update, blah, blah, blah...ok. Ok. Leave it alone.)

So, after much contemplation and stress over what to write here (which would explain the lengthy time between this and my prior post) I've decided to write about vitamins.

Still there? Good.
Yes, vitamins.

So, yesterday, I go and pull out my mighty bottle of daily vitamins from the cupboard. They're the gummy kind. Contrary to popular believe (marketing & commercials), I do not get the gummy vitamins so that I can feel like a kid again. I'm Asian. Our gummy candies were awesome. My vitamins do not remind me of my childhood.

Truth be told, I have a slightly easier time chewing on something that tastes like cough medicine rather than swallowing something the size of a basketball which then makes my mouth taste like the waiting room of a doctor's office for half a day. Really, the best is when the large pills get lodged in my throat and I spend a good hour making mild hacking noises or start swallowing crackers and taking large gulps of liquid to try to make the thing go away...and, still, my mouth...doctor's waiting room.

My vitamins are fruit punch (cough medicine) flavored and come in an assortment of fun (expected) "fruit shapes"...mainly lumps and lumps with lots of little lumps on them that, I suppose, are meant to arouse memories of freshly picked raspberries or what have you.

Great. Good for me for wanting to make sure I get enough vitamins every day because I can't seem to live a life of balanced meals. (Yes, I've had carne asada tacos three nights in a row. Don't judge me. I need my protein.)

So, I'm staring at the bottle as I pour myself some cereal. (Can we take a minute to talk about how much I love cereal? I love it. I love it like I love Irish Oatmeal, but it takes 25 minutes less to prepare.)

Right...this bottle. It's called One-A-Day. How quaint and lovely. Makes me feel like it's so easy to keep my body alive and functioning. One a day? Really? That's great. Easy. It's like birth control, except the only thing I need to fear if I forget to take it is, perhaps, a mild lack of pep that might have been there if I would eat a head of broccoli or something.

Oh, One-A-Day, you make life so...
and then I read the directions. I recall now reading them once before when I bought them.
"Chew two gummies daily."

Come on. Really?
They're gummies. They could have made them bigger so as to ensure that you only had to take ONE a day. Instead, I need to take two.
It's a misnomer.

...and very suddenly, reality set in.
Cheerios are not cheery, though, at least, they're O-shaped...Their beigey, grainy texture and cardboardy flavor should translate to a name more like Oh-nO's.
Black tea is actually brown in color.
My God, Cookie Crisp isn't crispy at all!

I could go on, but each time I realize something else, I become a bit more suspicious of everything.
This world is full of misnomers!
Beware!!!

BAM!
Happy 100th!
xo!