so, i've been thinking...pondering this general malaise of mine...and i think i've come to some sort of conclusion to explain my general journey down the emotional interstate, straight to the heart of you-make-bunny-cry-berg; a cold, dark place where things die and the land freezes over.
also known as winter.
it's the season!
the realization drop kicked me like the jackie chan of life.
that's right.
it looks like miss friday is ailing from a case of S.A.D (yes, Seasonal Affective Disorder...as much as i wished it actually stood for Super Awesome Disorder).
i never thought it would happen, but a quick wiki search has led me to believe it's true. (yes, yes, i know self-diagnosis is the devil's anvil - assuming the devil uses anvils like cartoons do.)
some people experience a serious mood change when the seasons change. They may sleep too much, have little energy, and crave sweets and starchy foods. They may also feel depressed. Though symptoms can be severe, they usually clear up.
i'm sorry, but did you get a chance to read two posts ago?
did you notice my obsession with comfort food?
did i mention that i slept till 3pm this last saturday?
did you know i eat at least 5 cookies a day?...
i bet you didn't.
i also bet you didn't know that i usually eat the first 3 all at once...like a zealous trash compactor.
so, i'm doing what any sane person with writing floating on the waves of internet ether would do.
i'm posting about it...
so, these dark mornings, dank days and darker evenings are dampening my general disposition. (did you catch the alliteration there? yes, it's all about clever literary devices here!)
i have several blog posts that haven't been posted sitting in my cue...waiting to be finished...like a row of unfrosted cupcakes.
that's sacrilege!
what is a cupcake without frosting?
it's merely a muffin, people!!!
so, i have a row of muffins...
sad muffins that aren't satisfying my standard of absurdity and ridiculous banter.
i keep revisiting these unfinished mental cakes of mine and find myself unamused, in search of something to enhance them.
literary vanilla essence...humor-inducing buttercream...
something.
SADly though, dear reader, the time has come for me to transform 3 of these half-baked muffins (or fail whale cupcakes, if you'd like to call them by their true name) and consolidate them into what could be called attempt loaf.
what you are currently reading is attempt loaf.
...so, yes, my malaise and my muffins...(there go those pesky literary devices again).
what i really need is some sort of portable sun lamp...
i'm certain if i were to procure such a device, it would be like waltzing with your favorite cartoon characters on rainbows made of candy while chocolate rain falls from the sky! (in retrospect, this sounds extremely disturbing...but, i assure you, it wouldn't be if only for the fact that you too would be animated...and i'm pretty sure i'd be much happier as an animated version of myself - please refer to this entire blog and it's lack of actual real proof that i don't exist as anything other than a drawing.)
speaking of the need for light...
"don't forget to set your clocks back!"
why, thank you for reminding me, cheerful radio personality!
i just love how happy the folks on the radio sound every year at this time.
you know what time it is...it's time to fall back.
it's time to succumb to the darkness and hope that, in the end, you don't end up a sad little lump on a broken wheelbarrow, abandoned on the side of the road somewhere in frowntown.
i get it, people.
i get that you're all really happy to get that "extra hour" of sleep, but you know what?
they stole that extra hour from somewhere else...namely, the daylight at the end of the day.
people are making excuses for it...they say it's ok...that it all makes sense.
well, you know what?
stealing is not ok.
stealing is never ok.
ok. enough. this attempt loaf need to be set out to cool.
...because it's piping hot...
if by piping hot you mean piping...not...?
i'm gonna go eat something comforting now.
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